Dating an Art Fair

Four tips for the art world’s most overwhelming speed date session

This week I spent my days at the art fair Art Rotterdam in the Netherlands. And somewhere on the train ride home, I realised: navigating an art fair is actually a lot like dating. The spark of potential is everywhere, but come in too eager and you’ll leave disappointed, because it’s never quite what you imagined it would be. And without clarity, you’ll move through booths the way you stumble through the dating scene: endlessly, aimlessly, and wondering what the fuck you’re even doing.

So, in the spirit of fostering real connections, let’s make a dating guide for the art fair!

Berkay Tuncay, The Story of Writing ASMR (2024), seen at the booth of Sanatorium at Art Rotterdam 2025. Credits Lien Lannoo

1) Set your intentions

Walking into an art fair without a plan is like showing up to a blind date and hearing the other person say, “I’m just open to whatever comes my way.” And let’s be honest, that’s almost always a one-way ticket to Nowheresville.

I always ask myself: what do I actually want to take away from this fair experience? It doesn’t have to be an artwork, it could just as well be a sharper eye, a new perspective, or an understanding of the gallery world. Your approach can help you keep your focus. You might choose to focus on galleries from outside your own country, just to see what’s happening beyond your bubble. Or set yourself a challenge: e.g. look for video, installation or performance, the kind of work you would more easily skip. That kind of framing helps guide your attention, even if you’re not sure what you’re looking for just yet.

Without direction, you’ll drown in a sea of impressions. Lots of flings, no real connections.

2) Spot your potential matches

Before you charge head-first onto the fair floor, take a moment to ask: who’s actually here? Which galleries, which artists, which programmes spark your interest? Make a list, group them, and mark them on the map. That way, you’ll avoid the mid-fair speeddating hangover: too many impressions of things that simply aren’t your type.

And one more tip: if you find a gallery you like, ask them who they’re excited about at the fair. The best and most authentic encounters usually happen through someone who knows someone. Just like in dating ;)

3) Don’t force the vibe

Sparks fly or they don’t. Just like dating, you usually know pretty quickly if something’s there. And the more art you see and gallerists you meet, the better you’ll know when things hit it off. Sometimes all it takes is a short exchange in a booth where you can sense the vibe in how someone talks about the work. But forcing a connection? That never ends well. Not with people, not with galleries.

And artists, I say this with love and admiration for your courage, please don’t (force)pitch your work at a fair. It’s like trauma-dumping on a first date, showing photos of the dog at the shelter you’re thinking of adopting (but only if your future partner is up for it too), and casually suggesting that, sure, buying a house in this economy is madness, but a joint mortgage could actually make sense soon-ish, right?

Ok, I know, I love exaggerating. But I mean what happened to taking it slow? Start with curiosity, be interested in the other artist they’re showing right now, ask questions about the gallery’s programme, about how they work and what they’re looking forward to. And if it clicks: tell them you just discovered them, that you’re genuinely interested, would love to swing by their next exhibition and stay in touch. Leaving your email is totally fine. Proposing marriage on a first date? Not really.

And remember: when in doubt, asking good questions is really sexy ;)

4) Be open to love at first sight

During Art Rotterdam, I found myself half-hypnotised, staring at Berkay Tuncay’s The Story of Writing ASMR (2024). I felt attraction, intrigue, calm and something just clicked.

ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response: that tingling, soothing sensation you sometimes get from soft sounds or slow movements: whispering, tapping, typing. According to a couple Eastern philosophies, true love isn’t fireworks. It’s slow and calm. And this work? It felt like a gentle, loving crush.

The unexpected is usually what stays with you longest. Not everything needs a rational explanation. Your head doesn’t need to understand. Your body already does.

So happy dating. May the fairs be with you ;)

See you next week,

Emily